Hello pretty ones! Hope you've been doing awesome! I've been a bit absent of my blog, but I'm back in the saddle! And I'm going to tell you why I was absent. In order to create content like blog articles, reels, IG post, Yourube videos etc! I need to be emotionally ok. Otherwise the infinite imagination that I have gets absolutely blocked! LOL!
The title of this article was inspired by Whitesnake's song "Is this love". I'm a huge fan of that band (oh my god those guitar solos!) and I believe I've heard that song a gazillion times in my life, but never really got to me.
The song actually tells about a man going crazy for a woman, feeling so much in love, pretty much like a teenager. But that's not what hit me.
What hit me was the first phrase of the chorus "Is this love that I'm feeling".
I had to make myself that question 2 years ago. And the answers that I found on myself were based on the following feelings:
- duty - compromise
- the right thing to do
- low self-esteem
- fear
- deep emotional pain
Before I keep telling you about my story, I have a few questions for you?
Is it possible that someone just stops being in love with their partner?
Or, do you think that maybe there never was real love?
You can post your comments bellow, I'd love to read your thoughts.
Let's continue!
Thinking about what I feel for my partner is one of the hardest thing I've had to do in my life.
Because I married a wonderful man. I don't know other man alive with such good heart. He's the best dad my kids can have. He always put himself last, it was always my kids and me in every area of his life. A praiseworthy attitude, yes, but I think it's not right to please others while you abandon yourself (we've talked about this many times). He's not smart, he's a brilliant! And he's been extremely supportive with me so I could always feel happy.
With such an amazing profile you might be thinking...then, what the hell is wrong with you, Andie?!
Well, nothing is wrong with me now. But everything was wrong with me before.
And it all comes down to "unhealed childhood wounds".
My mom hates when I talk about this and it's obvious, she feels guilty. Even though I have explained her soooo many times that I don't blame her for anything. I was a highly sensitive child, which was not a thing when I was little, so my childhood trauma comes from there and not from the fact that she was a monster. LOL!
My childhood was emotionally hard for me. And all those wounds affected deeply the way I engage in a relationship.
When you are not AWARE of your emotions I truly believe that you are not living, but just surviving. You just lurk in the matrix, taking decisions based on social constructions. And even in some cases people follow orders from others to build their own lives. Lives that doesn't make sense to them, hence, they don't know what happiness and love is.
What corrodes me is that "the right thing to do" is never the right thing to do, because it forces people to settle for something imposed to them. Do you think is ok to live like this? No wonder why half of the population of the planet suffers of depression!
When I decided to be aware of my emotions I wanted to discovery who I am, what I want and where I want to be. What do I like and what do I dislike. One healing process lead to another and I had to discover if "this was love".
As a Health Coach, I have learned to identify stressors in my life. People think stress is caused by work, being a stay-at-home mom or any kind of particular problem that alters your daily life. But the thing is that many of us live with constant stressor that we have normalized.
I'm going to give you examples and the solutions:
- I don't like the house I live in: move out.
- I don't like the schools my kids are attending: find another school. - But they say this is the best one for them so they can succeed in life! - If I am your Coach I will tell you that that is rubbish, sorry!
- I don't feel happy: find the reason why.
- I don't feel loved: then what are you doing there?
I could go on and on but you get the point. Right?
And as a Life Coach, I know that personal and spiritual growth is what humanity needs to HEAL from chronic stress. And I know it because my job is to hear people. Hear about their stories.
It's just amazing how someone has so much to say but was never given the space to do it freely and knowing he/she will not be judged or criticized. And when you allow someone to express themselves like that, healing begins.
A few weeks ago I was on Coaching training and my Coach told us: You need to be the embodiment of your Coaching Programs and the services you are offering as a Coach. And today, I can say I am.
Because I have been able to transcend my limiting beliefs. Life has a totally different meaning to me. Living a life without a purpose just doesn't make any sense. And living a life without loving and being loved as we deserved can destroy a human being physically, mentally and emotionally.
I'm going to end this article with a horrible expression, but I need you to FEEL the energy of what I want to trasmit to you:
FUCK SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIONS AND GO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!
And please never forget that SELF-LOVE is not about loving your muffins tops or any physical defects, it is about being LOYAL to yourself. Connect your thoughts with your emotions, invite the judgment to stay out for a moment and understand that you cannot feel guilty for what you feel. And no one in the world has the right to make you feel that way either.
I hope you enjoyed today's article but what I hope the most, is that it may be able to dig deep in your mind and in your heart.
To live a life in true love!
Loads of love,
Andie